You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
