Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
