College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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