why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
