omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize