i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
