Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he thought i was a dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize