Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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