I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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