Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
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