i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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