Dual....:-)
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
