What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
