i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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