wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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