Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I believe in your delicious
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize