Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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