I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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