bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
