i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
