No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
