Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
