so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
