carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
