Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
