I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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