Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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