There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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