yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
