well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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