I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
