i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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