i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize