this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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