you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize