This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
