office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
