Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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