I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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