I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
