dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
