Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
