so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
