i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
