The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
no you cant smoke seaweed
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
