I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
