my mouth tastes like poor choices
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Someone shattered a urinal.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Randomize
