At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
