someone get that fucking seahorse.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
