Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
