I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
