You made me cry and you don't even care
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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