I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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