while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
