She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
