Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize