Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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