He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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