I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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