I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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