worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
