So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
